Sep 15

Seriously though, religion is the funniest thing. Seriously, i’m walking down the street and I see Jesus being chased by some guy in a black and white robe with a cup of water shouting “The power of christ compells you.” apparently the guy was insulted that Jesus (The guy what christianity has been torturing for the past 2000 years) was still alive. I mean I spoke to Jesus an’ you know what he said, he said “I specificaly asked these guys not to make a religion out of me. I mean, Father should have erased them from existence by now.” an’ I says to the poor guyYa gotta remember that he is a pretty lazy guy, besides the christian/catholic species are very preemptive, I mean all they really care about is money.” “Wait. Are we talking about the Jews.” “Don’t interrupt me. So anyway, on their quest for world domination, themz gonna lie to people untill every man woman and child is enslaved by the relentless religion. But thats cool coz in the future some guy called Lord Fap is gonna slaughter them, so don’t worry about it.” Jesus looked at me jaw dropped. “That is sick. honestly that disgusts me.” “Who, me or the christians.” “This entire planet is disgusting. I mean my teachings are the way of peace. If people like that are worshipping me then what’s the point.I knew that there was no way out of this, so I bought him some icecream. That’ll chill him out untill next weekend

Sep 15

This morning whene i got up Jesus yelled at me. “Foot, where’d you put my grail?” I dont get how a cup can make you live forever. I did’nt even touch his dumb glass. “I don’t have your stupid grail.” I says to him. “Maybe Moses knows something.” He was really mad. I suppose thinking about getting old for the first 2000 years isn’t really nice, but then he went too far. “Foot, You’re stupid.” I was outraged. I told him to ask Moses, not fly off the handle at me. Lord Fap came in and told both of us to shut up he said “If youz guys don’t shut up, im’ma kick the banana with youz two.” I cried and Jesus said sorry. I was happy again.

THE END?

Sep 15

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How to kick a banana tree!